Monday, September 14, 2009

Stop, in the name of love

If I would have had a camera-team following me this weekend, they’d have enough material for a few episodes of “Bridezilla”.
On Saturday, I started talking about “colour-schemes”, which was already bad enough. But that was nothing compared to what followed on Sunday.
A fight with my future mother-in-law, me walking out with slamming doors, and me being stranded 15 km from Brussels, in some hotel, waiting for a taxi to drive me home. What led to all this?

a. P is working 20 hours a day, on average. He’s energy / time to do something for the wedding is nihil. He’s too tired to show any enthusiasm, and I’m taking this very personal.
b. I’m trying to get everything organized in time, on my own.
c. When I have to do it all on my own, I don’t do well with criticism from people who haven’t done a thing
e. My mom is loosing her hair again, and is crying every day. Scared that she will be bald on my wedding day, or even scared that she will not be able to be there. Of course, she puts on a big smile every time I see her, but my dad tells me the true story.
f. And on top of all that, my mother-in-law dropped the bomb on me last Sunday, by saying that “she feels excluded, wondering if I have a problem with her, if there’s a conflict, and complaining she doesn’t know anything about the wedding”. This while I have invited her to the first fitting of my wedding dress, I’ve called her on Friday to let her in on everything I had done this week, and I’ve asked her on Saturday to help organizing the reception.

I don’t know why I’ve deserved this. I honestly don’t get it.
What do people expect?
Do I have to invite my mother-in-law for every appointment? Even when, let’s say, my own mother is in hospital or too sick to come?
Do I once again have to agree to postpone the wedding, making my mother even more worried & depressed? (not to mention what this would do to my own “emotional well-being)

*Sigh* I really am at the end of my wits here. It’s already not easy with P’s crazy working schedule and with my mom’s illness. We’ve got a very tight deadline, and decisions have to be made fast. There is simply no time to discuss everything with everyone all the time. I’m doing the best I can by keeping my parents and P’s mom up to date. If that’s not enough, well I’m sorry than. I’m not superwoman.
All I want is a fiancé who is as enthusiastic as I am, and people who are focusing on the positive in all of this, instead of searching for opportunities for conflict.


res i(p)sa said...

Take a deep breath. You can do this. This is your wedding, it will be beautiful and your mother will be so proud. If it gets stressful, take a bubble bath, close your eyes and imagine how pretty you look in your dress!

Adrian said...


I came across your blog mainly because of interest in Insead. Anyway, I am the only child of a Mexican mother, and I believe I understand part of your predicament. Marriage represents a big transition; it is officially the point where the son leaves the mother for another woman. In Latin American culture a transition this big cannot trascend without conflict, and there is not much you can do. So hang tough and enjoy your beautiful wedding.