Losing

When you lose a parent, you lose so much more than only your mom or dad.
You lose the feeling of being a daughter or a son, you lose family traditions that have always been around, you lose a piece of yourself. You lose your life as it has always been - but will never be anymore in the future.

In a few weeks, it will be 4 months that my mother has passed away.
I've noticed that people forget really quickly. Once the funeral is over, the condolences and the messages of sympathy stop. Your best friends who have known you for the better part of your life, will continue to think of you. But only the people who have experienced the same loss, who really know what it's like - they continue to be there for you. They tell you the words you need to hear. They are not surprised when you cry, or when you're having a really bad day - with no apparent reason.
It's not because I smile that I don't feel any pain. The pain is always there - always.

Yes, it's almost 4 months. But I miss her more than ever.
I miss her warmth, her smile, her voice,...and above all the wonderful grandmother she would have been.