Thursday, October 23, 2008

To Ylva

Ylva wrote a comment on my latest post. She's a partner on her way to Fontainebleau, just like I was one year ago. And of course, after reading my blog, she's getting second thoughts. Ylva, I can't really give you my email here, as this is still an "anonymous" blog (well, sort of anyway). So please consider this posting as my answer.

Following your partner or not is a tough decision to make...and it took me several months to make up my mind. We were not married, had no children, had never lived together...and finally, I decided to go because I thought this would be the quality-time for our relationship we had been needing for a very long time. I know now this was a very wrong reason to go. I went to be with him, but INSEAD took up 99% of his time: a lot of classes, a lot of groupwork, a lot of night-time studying,...
I was fortunate that, very quickly, I got to know some other partners, who became wonderful friends. Thanks to them, I have a lot of very nice memories of my time in France, and I can look back smiling.
Do I regret I went to France? No, not one minute.
Would I do it again? No, definitely not.

Please realize that this is just my story. We each have our own reasons to go or not go, we each have our hopes, dreams, experiences, and expectations. And last but not least: we each have, of course, also different boyfriends/husbands.

So if you want to have some real quality time for just yourself (read all the books you want, finally follow that cooking course, learn how to speak French, visit Paris every week, and make friends from all over the world) : I would say "Go!"
If you choose to be stupidly naive like me, just hoping for days filled with romance in the French countryside and a marriage proposal on the Eiffel tower : don't go.


stallie said...

Hi N,
na het lezen van je laatste blogbericht wou ik je even laten weten dat je inderdaad een hele weg hebt afgelegd toen je in Frankrijk was. Het lijkt precies gisteren dat je vertrok. Ik jaloers dat je de wereld ging herontdekken. En dat heb je ook gedaan. Het aanzoek dat komt zeker en vast nog. Waar, wanneer en hoe dat is nog niet duidelijk maar ik wed dat het zeker en vast weer een van die momenten zal zijn dat je niet snel zal vergeten. Net zoals je nu heimwee naar Fonty hebt. Het was goed dat je meegegaan bent en je eigen weg hebt gevonden. Knap!!!

YLVA said...

Dear N,
thank you very much for your honesty in regards of INSEAD. And sorry that I am so naive in asking for your Emailaddress, but I am just a beginner in "blogging". Maybe that will change now - I am going to Fontainebleau, at least for four months.
But I did not break down all my stuff here in my hometown- so going back earlier won´t be a big problem. Thank you again for your advice, all the best, Ylva

N said...

I think you found a good compromise. I did the same as you : go for a couple of months, not the whole year; and I kept my apartment in my howntown. I really hope you'll enjoy the experience - I'm sure you will! Keep an open mind, and if it gets tough at times, just start writing that blog ;-)

Take care!