Sunday, April 11, 2010

The five stages

1.Denial – "Everything’s just fine. It’s just not happening."
I seem to love this one at the moment. In fact, I seem to love it that much that I literally do the ostrich-trick, and stick my head in the sand. You see? I’m not really here. In fact, I live on another planet in another galaxy.

2.Anger – "Why (not) me? It's not fair! Who is to blame?"
"Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy."
“Misplaced feelings”?? Ok, who are you? ‘cause I’m about to kill you right now. My feelings are anything BUT misplaced, lady.

3.Bargaining –"I will give my life savings if..."Bargaining?
No, really – not in my dictionary. I’m skipping this stage.

4.Depression – "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
"It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage"
You hear that, dear friends? Don’t tell me everything’s going to be “just fine”. It won’t. Don’t try to be “light” about it either.

5.Acceptance – "It's going to be okay. I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
Ha. Haha. Indeed, I can't fight it. But it's not going to be okay.

So, sorry for the rather weird post, dear readers. But, if I would be open and honest about everything once more, P would probably freak out again (it's sooo time for the Secret N-files). No, it's not about wanting a baby this time, it's about something completely different - although probably as life-changing. For the moment I'm mostly stuck in denial and anger, with a twist of depression. And strangely, a lot of acceptance as well. Although I would rather call it "throwing in the towel and giving up".

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