Thursday, January 10, 2008

Lost in Translation

I first saw this movie about a year or two ago. And did not like it one bit. Nothing was happening, it was going oh so slow, the plotline (and everything else) was reduced to pure minimalism.
But now, unfortunately, I seem to have stepped right into it. If the movie is indeed, and I quote fromWiki, "a metaphor for more existential themes of alienation, loneliness, and the desire for companionship", then count me in and give me one of the leading parts.

This small introduction just to let you know that, no , I’m not exactly walking on roses at the moment. I’ve thought quite some time if I would write about it, but keeping up appearances can be tiring. And just one tiny part of me hopes that maybe, by writing about it, I’ll already feel a bit better.
First of all : I don’t “do” change very well. And guess what. Literally *everything* has changed. From working to not working. From living alone to living together. From Belgium to France. From Big City to small village. From having no time at all to having all the time in the world. From being surrounded by family and friends to being very far away from them. Do I have to go on?
Second : I’m not really the socially outgoing, extraverted type. In large groups of new people my voice refuses any cooperation, my muscles go into post mortem rigidity, my heart decides to explore its limits, and well..I just end up talking to no one, and wanting to be alone again (and of course all this is multiplied by ten when I’m in an unfamiliar environment – see point 1). And again : guess what. I’m surrounded by over 200 people I don’t know, I’m supposed to socialize with the other partners and get to know them, but I just find myself quite unable to do so.

I truly don’t know how all of this is going to evolve. I hope it’s just some kind of adjustment-period I’m going through, and things will start to look a bit brighter in a few weeks. In the mean time, I stick to books, chocolate and my Sex and the City-DVD’s!

1 comment:

stallie said...

Hi Curly one,
I loved your piece of writting. It is just that I know what you mean so well. And just believe me it's quite natural to feel this way. Lost in Translation is quite a good movie and it also points out what travelling around the world is all about.
You are opening up your life and it will never be the same after these seven months. Once you leave la douce France you will smile while reading these words you have typed. The next few months you will go through a fantastic experience.
One morning you will wake up knowing that you have been dreaming in French!! Open then a bottle of Champagne. Because then you have entered the second level of your stay in Barbizon. It means that you are able to open a door that is so hard to open for the ones that never have been further then their homecountry.
I had such a hard time to let others understand what I had been through when I was in the States. Now I know that it doesn't matter because it is my personal experience. Only soulmates and other worldtravellers can understand me and that without even using words.
Stams and North Canton are still a part of me and it are these bits that can make the difference; Especially in very hard situations or the moments when I think that life seems not to make any sense. Getting lost in translation is not that bad if you try to blend in with your surrounding but try to go with the flow. But don't try too hard because it will find you.
I just can picture you trying to find your place there in Barbizon. Well just walk into a small café or creperie, talk along a magazine or book. Order chocolade chaud or café au lait and hold the warm cup in your hands and just let your thaughts go wherever they go.
Many people you will meet in the next months will matter but it won't be the quantity of time you will get to spend with them it will be the quality of time that will matter!!
And just make enough time for yourself. You are spending time in a strange country with the one person you consider the most important in your life. But you are going to have a diiferent experience that he is. But that is oké. Just cherish every second of it because there will plenty rainy days wherever you will be on this globe and then it are your thaughts that will make the difference and can save your day. Carpe diem.
Finally make sure that you bring home one nice token (a ring or other piece of jewellery) that you can wear and will symbolize your stay. It will be a very meaningful object that will cover up all the adventures you will have.
I miss you and hope that we can hold warm cups together in Barbizon. Love,