When what you write is being read

P : « The reality of the blogosphere sinks in : people read it »

I like to be cynical, sarcastic and I love to criticise things on my blog. It’s a writing style, and it also helps me to get things out of my system. For instance : I could have written an entire piece about how excellent the new gym is, and how I’m already addicted to it…(which is true), but that’s just not me - it’s not what I like to write.
To quote Res I(p)sa’s last blog posting : « it's a lot easier to complain and criticise than to express satisfaction and, as all those in "media" know, bitching excites the reader/viewer a lot more than does praise.”

However, I've discovered that my occasional « bashing » can offend people, and even hurt their feelings (while this is by no means my intention). Because, all of a sudden, this blog is being read, by more people than I ever expected (or wanted ?). And while this should not affect what I write, it surely adds a whole other dimension to my scribbling on this futile page on the net. The pen just became mightier than the writer.

How do I deal with all this ? Not really well. Highly sensitive as I am, I ended up having a troublesome and almost sleepless night. I can’t bare the thought that I’ve made people feel bad. I’m the restaurant critic who destroys the new place in town, only to end up crying because I’ve offended the cook…

So what is the lesson learned here ?
In the first place, I now realise that a blog is not just a kind of online dairy ; it’s a medium that conveys your words to a group of readers.
Second : these readers don’t necessarily interpret your words as you have meant them. It’s like P making jokes about me, intending to have a good laugh together, and me completely failing to see the humor of it, and getting angry and all defensive.
Third : I’ve got such a dual personality ! I can be so harsh in my words, while so weak and fragile in my feelings. I can be such a people-hater sometimes, while I’m actually the sweetest girl in town :-)
Conclusion : I must find some balance (if only for my own peace of mind), in what I do, think, feel, say, write,…while staying true and faithful to myself – and the way I like to write about things.