Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Letting go

For the third time in one week, I woke up thinking it would be Phoebe The Hamster’s last day. So I staid in bed, twisting and turning, followed by a much longer shower than usual. Then I convinced myself to have breakfast first, after which I finally gathered up the courage to call the vet to give an update on her health.

“No, it’s not better”
“No, it’s not worse either”
“Yes, I gave her all the medicine”
“Yes, she eats, but only when I give her something to eat”
“Ok, I’ll call back Friday. Thanks”.

Sigh. I already took the poor thing twice to the vet, every time convinced that he would put her to sleep, but no… I can see she’s in pain, but unfortunately there’s nothing else I can do but give her the medicine, feed her, comfort her. I’m grateful for every extra day with her – but I also know that it’s one more day of suffering and pain for this cute little animal.
I don’t know how much longer I can take this – I’m just going to spoil her with all her favourite food the next few days, preparing her – and myself - for her journey to hamster-heaven….

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