Right, just as I wrote a post about “not working” this morning, this evening I have my first job interview noted down in my dairy. My own fault.
I walked past the language school where I’d applied for a job yesterday, which is just around the corner of our apartment. And suddenly, I felt brave. I thought : let’s just walk in, and ask if they need teachers, instead of sending boring emails and waiting passively for a reply. So I walked in, and was greeted by a nice receptionist. Yes, sure they were still looking for teachers. Did I have my cv with my? No, but I had sent it yesterday. “Oh, it’s you: N! Now I remember, beautiful cv!”. So we talked a bit more, about my experiences as a language teacher, and five minutes later I walked out with an appointment with 1) the director of the English department and 2) the director of the Dutch department, scheduled next Monday.
I feel really happy, proud of having been gutsy for once, and at the same time I’m very very scared. I only recently found some peace and quiet again in my life, and all that is still brittle. I’m just really worried about the effect that going back to work might have on my emotional health. Only two days ago I told my therapist I would not push myself over my limits again, that I would take it easy, and here I go, barging in on a receptionist, walking out with an interview. *Sigh*, guess I just can’t help it. There’s something wrong with my brake-system.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to drink some camomile tea and do some meditation exercises. And hopefully calm down.
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