What a weekend

Friday I got a manicure because, well, I thought it was necessary. Saturday I quickly realised that I could have saved myself the trouble (and the money).
Saturday night I broke down emotionally during what was supposed to be a romantic tête-à-tête in a fancy restaurant. I hate it when that happens, but no matter how hard I tried, the tears kept on coming. I was finally able to stop them by taking a sleeping pill. So Sunday, obviously, I overslept. I was woken up by P, who already went for a swim. Next: I prepared lunch ‘cause one of our friends was coming over. He brought flowers for me – God, I needed that!
After lunch: visited my grandfather, who is blind by now, and who’s struggling for every single breath. I held his hand for a long time, while he whispered softly to me : I have no more air. I couldn’t help thinking: it’s ok , just rest now. Stop fighting.
We went back home, where P continued working (he worked on Friday night, on Saturday, and yes, also on Sunday). And now it’s Monday, P left at 5 AM this morning, and I have an emotional hangover from here ‘til Tokyo. I don’t even understand why the sun is shining today. Should be raining or storming or something.
Once again I feel as if I have no control over my life whatsoever. I know what I want, I know where I wanna go...But what does it matter?I’ll always be held back, I’ll always have to be more patient, I’ll always have to wait and wait and wait.

VLADIMIR:
We're waiting for Godot.
ESTRAGON:
(despairingly). Ah! (Pause.) You're sure it was here?
VLADIMIR:
What?
ESTRAGON:
That we were to wait.
VLADIMIR:
He said by the tree. (They look at the tree.) Do you see any others?
ESTRAGON:
What is it?
VLADIMIR:
I don't know. A willow.
ESTRAGON:
Where are the leaves?
VLADIMIR:
It must be dead.
ESTRAGON:
No more weeping.
VLADIMIR:
Or perhaps it's not the season.
ESTRAGON:
Looks to me more like a bush.
VLADIMIR:
A shrub.
ESTRAGON:
A bush.
VLADIMIR:
A—. What are you insinuating? That we've come to the wrong place?
ESTRAGON:
He should be here.
VLADIMIR:
He didn't say for sure he'd come.
ESTRAGON:
And if he doesn't come?
VLADIMIR:
We'll come back tomorrow.
ESTRAGON:
And then the day after tomorrow.
VLADIMIR:
Possibly.
ESTRAGON:
And so on.
VLADIMIR:
The point is—
ESTRAGON:
Until he comes.
VLADIMIR:
You're merciless.